Because All Narcissists Always:
- Defend themselves
- Say they’re being a victim
- Dismiss the other person’s concern
- Decline they did anything wrong
- Minimize the actual impact
- Criticize and fight to distract from the issue
- Crawl back with obsequious promises and sugar
There’s literally nothing Recovering
Narcissists can say without being “Narcissistic” even if sometimes they should.
A Recovering Narcissists who doesn’t want to be that way:
- Doesn’t defend themselves -> Recovering Narcissists have to “not defend” and can be blamed for anything and everything including both sides of the whole mess.
- Doesn’t say they’re being a victim > Recovering Narcissists can be treated any way you like. They can be verbally abused, treated unfairly and insulted and cannot feel or claim they were wronged.
- Doesn’t dismiss the other person’s concern -> In an argument you can expand, omit or embellish ‘facts’ to make a point and Recovering Narcissists can’t contest it.
- Doesn’t decline they did anything wrong -> Recovering Narcissists can be accused of anything real or recalled without contradiction. If Recovering Narcissists decline anything, especially false accusations, it’s gaslighting.
- Doesn’t minimize the actual impact -> Experiences that trigger prior PTSD or ‘hit a nerve from a past life’ can get as ‘big and histrionic’ as they want without comment from Recovering Narcissists.
- Doesn’t criticize and fight to distract from the issue -> Recovering Narcissists can be verbally abused and insulted and cannot get angry, respond or throw it back.
- Doesn’t beg, gift or ingratiate to get their partner back. The partner allows continuation, or burns it down. Recovering Narcissists just have to wait.
